attack of the haiku
First a little context. My best friend Konstantin Koptev, aka The Zombie (get a website, sweetie, so I can link to it!) had not been actually on Trillian for a few weeks, due to some fantasy roleplaying game for the PS2 that he just had to play through twice. So, it being April Fool's Day, I decided to mess with him a bit. It helps to know that he's an otaku and generally obsessed with all things Japanese.
Note: The conversation was edited a little to improve the flow of it (mostly the order things were sent in was rearranged to make sense.
Session Start (ICQ - 7567397:The Zombie): Tue Apr 01 17:35:18 2003
Kleopatra: #1
Kleopatra: Here I am, annoyed
Kleopatra: My best friend is playing games
Kleopatra: So much for chatting
Kleopatra: #2
Kleopatra: Not a nice feeling
Kleopatra: Taking second place to a
Kleopatra: dumb video game
Kleopatra: #3
Kleopatra: How the hell have I
Kleopatra: put up with this bullshit for
Kleopatra: almost thirteen years?
I'm working on a project at the same time. A little while later:
Kleopatra: #4
Kleopatra: Here I sit, angry
Kleopatra: Photoshop just crashed again
Kleopatra: pondering chainsaws
At this point, the absent Zombie joins the conversation.
The Zombie: actually, you're about to be pre-empted by an all-you-can-eat sushi special ^_^
Kleopatra: #5
Kleopatra: once more rejected
Kleopatra: when compared to sashimi
Kleopatra: my company pales. :(
The Zombie: mmm, sashimi
Kleopatra: #6
Kleopatra: Fuck you, you asshole
Kleopatra: Do you think I fucking like
Kleopatra: losing to sushi?
The Zombie: ...
Kleopatra: (#7
Kleopatra: hey, I'm just kidding
Kleopatra: I'm not really mad at you
Kleopatra: just having some fun. :) )
The Zombie: conversation
can be had at any time
sushi - twice a month
The Zombie: my lame attempt at haiku
Kleopatra: #8
Kleopatra: you seem to have missed
Kleopatra: a syllable in line one
Kleopatra: and one in line two
The Zombie: the first and third tuesday of each month is all-you-can-eat sushi night at Kiku, which is one of the two good sushi places in Pgh
The Zombie: but "conversation" has 5 vowels in it, therefore 5 syllables, right?
Kleopatra: #9
Kleopatra: Andee doesn't like
Kleopatra: When Konstantin uses
Kleopatra: technicalities
The Zombie: technicality is the first resort of the lazy geek ^_^
Kleopatra: #10
Kleopatra: you are not excused
Kleopatra: when flagrantly misusing
Kleopatra: Japanese grammar
The Zombie: But what's the purpose of learning the rules if not to employ them in your abuse of the system? Any munchkin knows that!
Kleopatra: #11
Kleopatra: Weren't you rushing
Kleopatra: off to Kiku's for sushi?
Kleopatra: buffet twice a month . . .
The Zombie: I'm leaving at 7
Kleopatra: #12
Kleopatra: I think I'm doing
Kleopatra: good job of messing with you
Kleopatra: while using the rules
The Zombie: you're
The Zombie: using
The Zombie: {enter]
The Zombie: way
The Zombie: too
The Zombie: often
Kleopatra: #13
Kleopatra: Haven't figured out
Kleopatra: how to write more than one line
Kleopatra: while using this thing
The Zombie: oro?
The Zombie: What're you using?
Kleopatra: #14
Kleopatra: I use Trillian
Kleopatra: you ought to remember that
Kleopatra: I gave it to you!
The Zombie: But in Trillian, you just type until you're done, and then hit {enter} to send the whole thing
The Zombie: I simply use [enter] instead of the period as a punctuation mark when I'm IMing
Kleopatra: #15
Kleopatra: when writing haiku
Kleopatra: you kind of need the line breaks
Kleopatra: Sorry it's vexing
The Zombie: you've been writing haiku?
I bang my head on the monitor several times.
Kleopatra: #16
Kleopatra: Check my syllables
Kleopatra: I've been in a haiku mood
Kleopatra: for most of the day
The Zombie: When needing to insert artificial line breaks, I usually copy/paste from Notepad
Kleopatra: #17
Kleopatra: Writing messages
Kleopatra: in Notepad, and then pasting
Kleopatra: is a total pain
Kleopatra: #18
Okay I'll try this
I'm sorry you're annoyed by
My use of [enter]
The Zombie: heehee
The Zombie: Just that whenever I see a new message in IM, I automatically parse it as a "." at the endo of the previous message
Kleopatra: #19
Are you enjoying
My perverted version of
an April Fool's joke?
The Zombie: Have you read Slashdot today?
Kleopatra: #20
I don't read slashdot
or any other geek news
I have a life :P
The Zombie: The number of articles you recognize as hoaxes directly correlates to one's geek quotient ^_^
The Zombie: And you call yourself a CS major
Kleopatra: #21
If I had the choice
of doing it all over
I'd major in Art
Kleopatra: #22
Go eat your sushi
But come back and talk to me
a little later
The Zombie: haihaiSession Close (The Zombie): Tue Apr 01 19:07:48 2003
My apologies to Kostia - much love as always. ;o